Sunday Confessions/My Inner Self

Friday night was date night, so Mike and I went out to dinner and then afterwards we hit walmart. Romantic, I know. I am sure he would rather have gone to a movie since there are several really good ones out, but we always go to the movies and I wanted to do something together that required more than sitting next to each other staring at a large screen. So, dinner and walmart it was. My main reason for going was to look at the dishes I am wanting to get, to see if they would really go well in my dining room. (They are gonna look awesome by the way...when I eventually get them. haha.) But while we were there we decided we better get diapers, oh and we should probably look at some clothes for the kids since they are growing out of the ones they have. Oh, and we should probably get some bananas while we are here too...and on and on. You know how it goes when you are in walmart. Anyhoo...we were passing the sock isle and I remembered I needed some more socks. I just bought some not too long ago, but for some reason I've lost one of each, so now I just have a bunch of mismatched socks. (Stupid sock monster. GIVE THEM BACK!!) Well, I grabbed a package of white socks, thinking "this way, it doesn't matter if one goes missing. I can still match it with another plain white sock. Makes life much simpler. Not as cute, but oh well." So, I'm about to put them in my cart when Mike sees them and pipes in. "White socks?!?!" He says in surprise. "You are actually going to get PLAIN WHITE socks?!" Shocking I know, but I explained to him my reasoning and figured he'd let it go, but no. He tells me, "Michelle, that's just not you. If you buy the white socks you will be denying your inner self", or something like that, "I think you should be true to yourself and go find the socks you REALLY want." So, I put the socks back and went and found me a variety pack of some super cute socks in blue with different fun designs on them. He knows me so well. I sure do love him a lot.

It got me thinking though, I've been denying my inner self a lot lately. I seem to have redirected my attention to making my kids look cute and forgot I still need to make myself look cute. I wonder if that's why some women just let themselves go eventually after they get married. Part of it is just convenience, but I also feel like a large part of it is because we start to lose our identity. At least that's how I feel. I almost don't know who I am anymore. And I find myself wondering if Mike wonders what happened to the girl he married. I'm glad he's there for me though, to remind me who I am. To remind me of the things that I enjoy and make sure I stay true to myself. I am also grateful he is smart and hasn't tried to remind me that I do own make-up...somewhere.

It's All About The Timing

You've all heard the advice of not going grocery shopping while hungry, but I've decided that it's just as bad to shop when you're full. Why? Because, when your full, all the sudden NOTHING sounds good. I guess it's all about the balance of being not hungry but not full. But come on. Who has the time to actually time shopping like that. "Okay, Lunch was 2 hours ago and dinner is in 4. If I make the kids skip nap time, I can go shopping now and and get back just in time to start dinner and not worry about buying too much or not enough."

I went shopping a couple nights ago a few hours after dinner and I was just the right amount of hungry. It was the perfect shopping trip. I got everything on my list. There was no "Ugh, yogurt does NOT sound good right now. I'll skip it this time. Also, lasagna doesn't sound good either, so I'll skip all the ingredients to that as well" or "Oh my goodness that double fudge, chocolate, brownie ice cream and cookies, and doughnuts, and chips, sounds soooooo good right now". No, I walked away with everything I needed and ONLY what I needed. BUT, I HATE shopping at night. At the end of the day, all I want to do is relax. So, I've decided that if I have to choose between shopping while I'm hungry or shopping when I'm full, I choose hungry. Because I'd rather have too much food than not enough. If I gain a few extra pounds, I'll deal with it. At least I won't have to deal with loading the kids up and going BACK to the dreaded grocery store mid week, because the kids ran out of snack foods or I skipped ingredients to a meal that didn't sound good at the time.

Mmmmm...double fudge, chocolate, brownie ice cream sound really good right now.

Sunday Confessions/The Boy Next Door

Yes, those of you who have known me for a long time know exactly where I'm going with this. When I was about 14 years old, my friend's Dad (next door neighbor) got remarried. This new wife had a few children. One in particular was a boy about a year older than me who I immediately became infatuated with. That poor guy. Looking back I feel so bad for him. I had this idea of what I thought he was like and I was in love with him. One day I was sitting out on my front porch and I prayed for a sign that God would tell me if I was going to marry him or not. I asked to see a shooting star in a specific part of the sky. And you know what...I saw that shooting star. That settled that. I was going to marry him. God said so. I stalked and tormented this guy for about 4 years. The few times that I actually spent time with him, I didn't really feel that our personalities meshed well. But that didn't matter. I knew he was the one for me. Thinking back on my teenage years I can now see that I was just...weird. Seriously. Why didn't anyone tell me what an weirdo I was?! And now I am dealing with the humiliation of it all. I was ALWAYS staring it at him and he was probably always thinking "STOP STARING AT ME PSYCHO CHICK!!! I remember once at a church dance, I waited and waited for him to come. When he FINALLY walked through the door I worked up my nerve and asked him to dance. I was so frazzled and nervous that when , as a joke, one of my friends older sisters walked up and asked to cut in, my knee jerk reaction was to shout, "NO" and kick her in the shin. Oh...yes I did. It was pretty humiliating.

I came home from my mission and I was a little less weird, but was still obsessed with the guy. I saw more of him because we ended up working at the same place. Everyone I worked with directly knew who he was and how much I liked him.

I finally fell in love with someone else and got over him but now I just feel stupid. To this day I cannot talk to this guy. He is (or was, not sure if he still is) in my parents home ward (church congregation for those of you unfamiliar with mormon lingo) and has a cute little family. I saw him a few times at church when I was home last year and couldn't bring myself to even look at him. Even though I have moved on and am no longer in love with the guy, (good thing since I'm now married with a family of my own. haha) I'm now just too embarrassed to face him. I'm pretty sure he will forever see me as the weird girl next door who stalked him and who now completely ignores him, which is probably relief to him. haahaha.

So, boy who used to live next door, I apologize for my teenage psychosis and hope you are not dealing with permanent scars from the fear of being stalked and tormented by me and all my friends.

The End.

Happy Sunday all! :)

Decisions, Decisions

With Thanksgiving being only 4 months away (hehe) I have been trying to decide on a new dinnerware set to grace my table this year. I have narrowed it down to these affordable options. Compliments of Walmart. Option #1 would be this 2 toned taupe set. I think it is super classy but I'm not sure the colors would go with the gold curtains and painting I have in there.



Option #2 would be one set each of these. But, again, the whole gold thing. I'm not worried about the yellow, just the green. But I like the green, both colors go well with the place mats I have...hmmm. Option #3 would be 2 sets of just the yellow. I particularly like the yellow because it is bright and cheery.

Ahhhh, these ever so important life decisions. I simply cannot decide by myself. If I do, I will have no one to blame but myself if my table looks bad this holiday season. And we can't have that. Can we.

ROFL

But not at the same time. First he was rolling on the floor...

And then he was laughing...and laughing...and LAUGHING!


He started rolling a few days ago. I didn't actually see him do it at first. I laid him on his back on the floor in the living room and left the room for a few minutes. When I came back he was on his tummy. Kacey was in the room when it happened but she didn't see it either. So I turned him back over and got out the camera to try a video. Of course he stubbornly refused to do it again...until I put the camera away and turned my back. The turkey. But he has done it several times today for me. So he's forgiven. :)

When he gets on his belly he scoots around with his feet. Like he's climbing a ladder. It's pretty funny to watch. I have it on video and if it didn't take so long to upload I'd show it to you. But after waiting for the previous 2 videos I have no more patience to wait for a third. So, maybe another day.

Sunday Confessions/Going up?

Forgive me. It's been a while since my last confession. I know it's not a great excuse but, I just forgot okay! :) Monday always comes around and it hits me, "doh, I forgot my Sunday confession. Oh well, next week, next week". Then next week comes and it's a repeat of the previous week, yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyhoo, today's confession:

I am totally scared of elevators. I've come a long way though. I used to be completely terrified of them and as soon as I would step into one I would immediately start fervently praying that we would make it to our floor without plummeting to our death. I just have this horrible fear that a cable is gonna snap or something and the whole thing is gonna free fall to the basement and we will all be found in a crumpled pile of broken bones and blood oozing from our ears and noses. Pretty gruesome picture isn't it? I would rather take the stairs ANY day. However, in many places the stairs are reserved only for emergencies and they have signs warning you that if you open the door an alarm will sound. So I am forced to face my fear and ride the horrid things. But like I said, I have come a long way and there have been a few times in the recent past when I WILLINGLY took the elevator instead of the stairs.

I also have a fear of flying for the same reason. What if an engine explodes and we fall out of the sky like on Madagascar 2. Minus the parachute that gives them a nice gentle landing at the last minute. Whenever I plan to fly somewhere I have anxiety for weeks thinking about all the awful possibilities. No, the closer I can stay to firm ground, the better. Thank you very much.

Flying vs Driving

So, now that I've done both, I can honestly say that I would much rather drive across the country than fly. Why you ask? Well, first of all, I've never been a fan of flying anyways. I pretty much hate it even when I'm by myself. But when I have my kids with me, it's just one horrific nightmare. As Kacey and I were driving back, by about day 4 the kids were getting pretty crabby. We stopped for lunch somewhere and Jacob and Lulu were both having a melt down and Jimmy was crying because of all the screaming. Kacey sat in the passenger seat and just chuckled at the madness of it all. I looked at her and said in all honesty, "I would still rather be here than on a plane". In a car, I don't have to worry about my kids kicking the back of someones seat. Or have to worry about the guy in front of me turning around all annoyed and ask my son to stop doing what he's doing when all he's doing is LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. I hate spending all day trying to force my kids to hold still so they don't disturb other people. It doesn't matter how many things I bring to entertain my kids, Jacob will always be a seat kicker. In my car they can scream and kick the seat all they want and all I have to do is turn of the radio and tune them out. Not to mention you have a lot more leg room in a car. And besides, you will never see things like this on a plane.